In 2011, the Union were having the great defensive domination. Our clean sheets, our goals-against averages and our making-strikers-weep statistics were all in the league’s top five. However, we were not scoring the goals. I can only recall seven goals scored, in the full season. Perhaps eight. This only divides to a 0.22 goals-per-game average, which is not so nifty. For 2012, we will emphasize grit and youth and attacking play. We have unloaded our…
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Piotr’s recent comments about my coaching prospects along with the release of my proposed starter Nizar Khalfan have left me shaken these last few days. Broken emotionally and intellectually, I’ve decided to take a break from tactical talk and front office second-guessing. Instead of writing about all that heavy shit, I’ll return to my roots- banal dick jokes.  Here’s a few predictions for the 2012 season: 1. Though more of a grower than a shower, Zac…
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  It’s that time of year again, Union fans.  As of now, our controversial roster is pretty much what it’s gonna be.  Following an offseason of unusual turnover, heart-rending surprises, vicious debate, and a deluge of tweets fit for no man’s daughters, we’ve got ourselves a team.  For better or worse, Union 3.0 has arrived. Now we’ve gotta figure out what to do with it.  Undoubtedly, Nowak & Co. are huddling in one of their favorite undisclosed locations, poring…
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Like any fucked-up emo mullet, the Union features a reserved business-like rear and an unpredictable, sexy façade. Even with the loss of our well-endowed AARP’er (goalie Faryd Mondragon) and the likely introduction of a new starter (left back and LMFAO-reject Porfirio Lopez), the defense will be ready to build on their success last year. A unit that held opponents to an Eastern Conference-low 1.06 goals per game returns its revelatory center back pairing (Carlos Valdes…
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It’s that time of year again, Union fans.  As of now, our controversial roster is pretty much what it’s gonna be.  Following an offseason of unusual turnover, heart-rending surprises, vicious debate, and a deluge of tweets fit for no man’s daughters, we’ve got ourselves a team.  For better or worse, Union 3.0 has arrived. Now we’ve gotta figure out what to do with it.  Undoubtedly, Nowak & Co. are huddling in one of their favorite undisclosed locations, poring over…
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The beginning of any season poses questions. In the case of the Union, the talk is centered on two things: the surprising exit of Sebastian Le Toux and the younger-by-the-minute makeup of the team. Moves have been made and a process has been set in motion. But what many see as a terrible weakness might wind up being our greatest asset. Even with all the talk of the Union’s youth movement, I still don’t think…
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Tumultuous.  Turbulent.  Turgid. Two of those adjectives can be used to describe this whirlwind of an offseason.  The other may look  like cheap alliteration, but it refers to the visceral, testosterone-laden anger at the Front Office that has left many a fan sporting an undeniable rage-boner. The question isn’t whether or not those actually exist, but whether or not they’re warranted.  The names Mondragon, Mwanga, Nakazawa, Paunovic, Adu, Daniel, Gomez, Khalfan, Lopez, Martinez, Torres - not to mention Houapeu, Richter, Langley, Hoffman, Jordan, Gaddis and…
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As the Union break camp en route to the 2012 season, we were able to get an early look at one of the Union’s new Central American signings before he reported to preseason training.  Panamanian midfielder Gabriel Gomez played a big part in Wednesday’s US-Panama friendly which ended 1-0 in favor of the US. It is hard to know everything about a player based on 90 minutes of soccer, and I certainly won’t claim to…
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Alot of draws feel like something other than a draw- like the draws against huge opponents whom everyone was sure would streamroll your team, or the draws that just barely secure your team’s spot in a playoff or tournament.  Those feel like wins, the euphoria comparable to or better than an actual victory. Other draws feel like losses.  Being held to a draw by a shitty team is, after all, less than what any fan expects of a reasonably good team…
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A pair of PK’s leaves Philly and Dallas with a point apiece at Freddy’s big debut.