The image of the cowboy riding off into the sunset is quintessential in American film lore.  The hero, sillhoutted against the sun’s last light, heads of to the next adventure, leaving behind the sadly smiling faces of those he’s rescued from whatever late 19th-century outlaws or robber barons were bleeding the town. Of course, it wasn’t his town.  It never is.  He’s always from somewhere else, on his way to somewhere else, stopping just long…
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What does one do with a day like Sunday, when the tectonic plates upon which your worldview sits shift, shaking your beliefs about life and love and soccer to the ground, leaving you nothing to do but to bury your dead, dry your tears, and walk into the vast desert that’s left of your dreams? How does the traumatized mind compartmentalize a day that started with its preferred EPL team (yes, that one) having cup…
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The stumbling Philadelphia Union welcome a New York Red Bulls team riding a three-game winning streak this Sunday at PPL Park. With the Union playing ugly anti-football and the Red Bulls pressuring the Eastern Conference-leading Wizards in the standings, the Union have three ways to win this game: 1. Get really lucky 2. Have key Schalke players impersonate Union players 3. MLS suddenly switches to golf-style scoring The (New Jersey)(Pink)(Dead)(Soda)(Cows)(Bulls) This week, you get to…
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  How many times can the same themes be explored, over and over, by the same weary commentators that are just as tired of exploring them as fans are of seeing them played out on the pitch, week after week?  At what point does the loop reach critical mass, as each and every renewal of the same issues adds another layer of ennui?  It’s been said that insanity is defined by the expectation of different results from the…
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  It was a 2 hour drive from the Poconos to PPL Park, the hallowed place a certain unreasonable facsimile of a pseudo-soccer journalist was hell-bent on getting to before 7 o’clock.  Having just enjoyed the Pennsylvania countryside in somewhat unconventional fashion, my tired, bleeding, freezing, and only recently electrocuted little self kept the pedal to the medal, kept conscious only by the knowledge that the Union had finally found a little form.  This would be my reward, this my comfort. I…
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The Philadelphia Union plays host to the San Jose Earthquakes Redux in this weekend’s 7 PM clash at PPL Park. Coach Petey “Pablo” Nowak will be sitting this one out after receiving a two game suspension for his actions in last weekend’s bloodless “melee” at the Home Depot Center. Ever loyal, Gabe Farfan and Keon Daniel have chosen to sit this game out in protest of the sanctions against their favorite coach. Either that or…
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  Whether a seasoned die-hard or a brand new fan, everyone can benefit from a little erudition.  A knowledgeable fan base, as they say, is a winning one.    Actually, we’re not sure anyone says that.  But being entirely made up doesn’t make the phrase any less true.  It is for that reason, and in the interest of the public betterment, that we present this brief collection of Union facts, trivia, and general knowledge.  Some of it you may know.  Some you…
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The Boys in Blue finally, gloriously took three points from their opponents in manly fashion this week, tearing victory from the jaws of the goats with a brief but decisive moment of offensive competence that belied everything else about the season so far. Despite the Union’s tenuous hold on the game, the single goal held up even as the Blue and Gold found themselves on their heels more often than not. And what a goal…
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The blind squirrels have found their nut.  By upholding the high defensive standards that have come to be their most reliable asset, the Union was able to sneak away from PPL Park with 3 points by way of a single penalty kick. While it’s fantastic to see the that the Union defense is decidedly back on track, and the Union’s movement and possession were much improved, and it’s just plum wonderful to put a “W”…
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With their bye week behind them, the Philadelphia Union return to PPL Park to face the Columbus Crew on Saturday at 3:3o (NBC Sports Network, dawg). All rise. The Columbus Poo The dingleberry of the Crew, Robert Warzycha has been stuck in Columbus since 1996. After seven years as a player, Warzycha worked as an assistant coach for six more years  before finally assuming the head coaching role in 2009. Tough life, kid. Under Warzycha,…
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