Dynamo Deny Union

• by Conor O'Grady
• August 8th, 2011
• MLS, News
• 1 Comment

Sometimes you need 3 points, for the table and for reasons of morale.  Saturday was one of those times.  Unfortunately, a dogged Houston Dynamo, a sloppy Union offense, and a prime example of the embarrasment to the sport that is MLS officiating left the Blue and Gold short by 2. 

Early first blood drawn by Jack McInerney created an atmosphere of triumph that slowly but surely drained away as potential insurance goals were denied, just missed, or otherwise prevented.  Houston figured out that they could not only foul, but also assault, bludgeon, batter and rape anyone in a blue shirt without fear of consequences from Terry Vaughn, who was more than likely one of the people who walked past Kitty Genovese (Google it). 

Then came Geoff Cameron in the 85th, putting away the equalizer as Philly fans put their heads in their hands.

Elation Turns to Despair

The bright spot of the day was a strapping young Hibernian American named Jack McInerney, who not only buried his first goal of the season but displayed a strategic eye that’s suddenly worthy of his youthful tenacity.  With Houston defenders scrambling to contain him, it was clear before his inexplicable replacement by Stefani Miglioranzi (Stefani Miglioranzi!) that this boys brains are getting to be as hefty as his considerable balls.  His almost immediate follow up to the opening goal was painfully offsides, but no less dynamic for it.  And in case you missed it, that was a bicycle kick he put just over the crossbar.  Keep it comin’ Jack.

The youngster’s noble efforts aside, our beloved offense just plain couldn’t get shit going.  With about 60% possesssion, Houston ran the pitch, attempting (almost) literally hundreds more passes than the U, and completing more of them too.  All in all, it seemed like the U had reverted to their early season strategy of parking the bus and hoping for another addition to their extensive gallery of 1-0′s.   Except this time, it didn’t work out.

The Downtrodden Heroes

Then there’s our usual strikers- Le Toux and Mwanga, the men who last season were the pride of the team, but who now seem so cursed and so snakebit as to make one wonder exactly which Indian burial ground their houses are built on.  Nothing, I say NOTHING is more painful to watch than Sebastien Le Toux giving his all and coming up empty by a millimeter, and I say that having seen Brendan Frasier’s Furry Vengeance.  His 84th minute goal was just that, a goal, except for the minor inconvienence of it not having actually gone into the net.  What does this man have to do?

Mwanga, meanwhile, seems to have simply forgotten how awesome he is.  I’ve heard of not shooting ’till one sees the whites of their eyes, but Mwanga’s waiting until he can count the lashes.   Maybe making your best striker ride the pine all season in favor of a washed up Guatemalan isn’t a confidence booster after all, eh Piotr?  Note to Danny- you can do it.  You don’t have to wait for 37 players from Houston to run a train on you in the box while Terry Vaughn watches from behind a one-way mirror with his last tissue.  Shoot.

Anyway, the U will need to dust themselves off and regroup by Saturday, when they face a stiff test in the form of FC Dallas.  If Nowak & friends can’t come up with a solid offensive strategy by then, the possibility of a long slide is looming.